Say what you mean and mean what you say. We’ve heard it a million times, but being honest about how we feel and expressing our emotions saves us from heartache. Many times we are afraid to express how we feel out of shame, guilt, or embarrassment. When in actuality, how you feel and your emotions are perfect the way they come.
Ironically this week, I’ve had conversation with two different women about this same topic in different scenarios. On one hand, Lady X puts up this harsh exterior and wall in an attempt to show she’s not ”weak”. She so desperately want her relationship to go to the next level, but is afraid to say that’s what she wants. Lady X can’t even admit she wants, yearns, and needs love and affection. In many of our conversations that is repeated ”I don’t like weak people.” Finally I stopped her and said, “it’s not that people are weak, they are willing to be vulnerable and express how they truly feel.”
Next, I told her, you’ve expressed to him you don’t want anything and he can’t do anything for you, when in actuality you do want a relationship. I said, be honest with your emotions and how you feel. Express what you truly want and desire. Everyone has needs and wants emotionally, you’re no different. At last, she confesses. SELF LOVE: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
”We destroy ourselves when we stop feeling. If you bury your feelings within you, you become a graveyard.”-Bernie S. Siegel
Now on to Lady Y. She’s upset because her ex-husband has passed away and feels left out of the plans for the final resting place. After she expressed how disrespected she felt and anger, I kindly reminded her of the instructions she gave when they divorced. She clearly made it known she didn’t want to talk about him, know anything about him, and dissolved mutual relationships. I said, if I recall, you made it very clear about your feelings. Yes, it’s your ex, but you expressed forcefully your boundaries. Now that they are being respected, it hurts your feelings.
Again, I had to explain, whatever your honest feelings are, say it. If you want people to genuinely love, care, and have concern you have to be honest with yourself first and then others about your feelings. You can’t trick people into reading your mind, or expect them to already know.
Sometimes we find ourselves getting frustrated because our emotional needs aren’t being met. Ask yourself, ”am I being honest about how I’m feeling?” Then go from there. In order to heal, grow, love, and be loved, we have to acknowledge to ourselves first and then express to others our true feelings.
Be well on your journey.
Be you so you can be free.