Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

STRENGTH

Take Your Power Back

S-Seek the “why”. When we are feeling hopeless, down, and in despair so often we can’t put our finger on how we ended up there. But figuring out the why, how, and what will lead us to the beginning of healing. We can’t pick ourselves up until we understand how we got to where we are.

T-Trust your instinct. How many times have we ignored our gut or went with the second choice instead of the first? Don’t let yourself and others talk you out of what you feel is right.

R-Recharge and reenergize yourself. After so long its easy to get into a slump. But find a way to get yourself back up and ready to fight. The more simple the better. A hot shower, nice walk, and a phone call to a friend will put you in a mood to get up and give it another try.

E-Experience every emotion you feel. When we allow ourselves to feel no matter how much it may hurt, we gather so much strength. If we always run we won’t know our actual strength that we possess.

N-Navigate at your own speed. Run your own race. One of our biggest mistakes is allowing others to dictate when we should get over something, do something, feel something, or just be.

G-Grind it out. Nothing in life that is worth having comes easy or free. Put in the time and work needed to achieve your dream or goal. What you put in, is what you’ll get out. Even if you only have an hour or 30 minutes, use that time to do something.

T-Talk yourself out of it. Talk to yourself aloud while doing housework, driving in the car, or working out. This has been a great tool for me. Have a conversation with yourself and think those thoughts through.

H-Hold on to the good. Even in the most difficult times we can learn a lesson or pick up something. For that matter, we can even learn something from the one person that hurt us, pick up the good and leave the rest.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Personal Relationships · Self care

The More You Grow…

Conversations that aren’t meaningful or add value to your life, you won’t engage in. Sitting around the table listening to people gossip just gets under your skin.

You begin to pay more attention to what others are saying and doing. Are the actions and words aligned with your values? How they show up in the world and to you is well noted. You begin to value character and integrity more.

Aren’t afraid to ask for help or say you don’t know. You’ve come to a point in life to know and understand you don’t know everything and that’s ok, but you aren’t going to act like it either.

Respectfully speak up for yourself. Turning the other cheek and letting things slide isn’t going to continue to happen.

Understand the importance of getting ahead of situations and problems. Having a proactive mindset as opposed to a reactive mindset.

Stand firm in your position and will not put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Saying yes to get it over with or not to hurt others feelings isn’t something you’re willing to do.

Taking time for yourself, self reflection, and constantly wanting to be a better person is a priority.

Prefer small intimate gatherings inside opposed to going out to large venues with crowds.

The well-being of others are important to you.

The small stuff doesn’t get to you and shift your mood.

No longer feel guilty about taking a day off or taking time out to take care of yourself. You understand that taking care of yourself isn’t up for negotiations.

Don’t worry about trying to impress others with “what” you have. The labels on clothes and shoes doesn’t mean a thing to you. As long as you are comfortable you’re happy. Just not interested in keeping up with the Jones’s.

Sleep is important, essential, and a priority.

What you watch on television, music you listen to, and what you give your time to is well intentional.

The desire to learn and attain knowledge is what you become.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

mental health · Personal Relationships · Self care

Things To Know About Introverts

As an introvert

-We actually do like people and socializing. Just so happen we prefer a small select few to socialize with.

-We are very observant.

-We truly do enjoy being alone and spending time with ourselves. Matter of factly, that will be our first choice is to do something in solitude.

-We absolutely don’t care for the small talk. A meaningful conversation with substance is more fulfilling.

-Chances of us having or wanting a lot of friends is very slim. We’d prefer a small circle of people to keep close.

-We aren’t shy, timid, or fearful. More on the reserved side.

-We aren’t stuck up or anti social.

-We won’t speak unless we have something to say. Not going to say anything just to fill the silence or be apart of a conversation.

-We enjoy going out, vacations, beach, walking, and being outdoorsy.

-There isn’t anything wrong with us we don’t need to be fixed.

-We aren’t rude.

-Introverts are not depressed, have anxiety, or low self esteem.

I’ve totally embraced and love being an introvert. I am me and it feels good. Embrace and love who you are. Don’t let the outside world make you feel like there is something wrong with you because you aren’t doing what the mass majority is doing.

BE YOU!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Why Having More “Stuff” Isn’t Fulfilling

Do you have a closet full of clothes with tags on them? Shoe boxes lined for days that you haven’t worn or worn only once? Makeup drawer overflowing, drawers won’t close because clothes is oozing out of them, and more handbags than days, and you still aren’t fulfilled and living happily, thats because no matter how much “stuff” you buy it won’t do the work you need to do for yourself.

First the gratification we receive from a new purchase is short lived. Hence, the reason we sometimes don’t use or wear the specific item. We’ve all heard of the term retail therapy. The shopping temporarily fulfills us to get our mind off what really has us bothered.

Having more “stuff” isn’t fulfillling because we’re chasing something thats unattainable. There is this fictional idea that we’ve created and trying to chase. Have you ever wanted something really bad and finally got it, but no sooner than you turned the corner you were looking for something else. There is always going to be something else desired to fulfill the void inside until we fulfill ourselves.

Most often when we purchase something new it isn’t for ourselves. The new clothes, shoes, home decor, furniture, or whatever else is purchased to get a reaction from others. We’re looking for their reaction to fulfill or validate the emptiness. Thus the cycle continues when we don’t get the reaction we want. We begin to internalize it and take it personally.

The more stuff we have the more our homes are cluttered, the more “stuff” we have to take care of, and the more we are mentally cluttered. The more that is purchased the more the reality becomes physical that we need to dig a little deeper and say “what do I really want?”

Save yourself time, money, frustration, and anger when the next time you get ready to purchase something ask yourself:

If it’s a need or want?

What purpose does it serve?

Everything has a place and there’s a place for everything, does it have a place?

Will it make me better?

Can I afford it?

This will begin the process of you making well thought out decisions that will lead you to self fulfillment and saving money.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: Personal Goal Setting

It can be overwhelming when it comes to setting and maintaining goals. If we set them too high then its easily discouraging when we hit a bump in the road. For me what I’ve learned and what works for me is to set small goals that will set me up and motivate me to continue on to my larger goal.

Because I have so many ideas and so much I want to do I figured its best for me to begin setting small goals for myself to keep me on track and organized.

I’ve been slacking on my water intake and my body, skin, and energy has been telling me to get back to drinking more water. To do so I’ve made sure to have a bottle of water beside the bed so in the morning before I do anything I hydrate and get my juices going. Also on the drive to dropping off my children and picking them up in the afternoon I make sure I have a bottle of water. Side note: having a bottle of water in the car on the ride to and from school eliminates me wanting to stop at Starbucks.

My next goal for the week was to finish the paper work needed to start a project that I’ve been wanting to do. I’ve researched for the last several months and now its time for me to take the next steps and do the legwork. This goal seems simple yet its going to keep me line and make sure I not get side tracked and jump all over the place, because lets face it that can happen.

Working out is an essential part of my self care. I must workout at least 4-5 days a week. At this point my workout is mostly for my mental sometimes. The ability to clear my head and refocus is the best therapy for me sometimes. Now when I say schedule, no I don’t write it down, but its me staying in my routine. Typically for me I workout maybe three days straight then take a day off and then go another two days. I do a mix of aerobics, strength training, and of course walking.

The last and most important is an ongoing goal, personally, staying positive no matter what. My everyday corporate job can be mentally draining and stressful sometimes, I have three children in elementary, middle, and high school, and helping my mother is quite a feast I have to eat weekly. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Staying positive, motivated, staying in the moment, releasing my tension when I have to, and not losing myself is my goal.

I love taking care of my family and being able to have my sense of self. It’s something I believe I can handle and have at the same time.

Setting and maintaining goals is something personal to you. Figure out what your ultimate goal is. Write it down. Set small goals to get you to where you want to go. This give a visual and won’t overwhelm you. Some of us can’t set a big goal and stick to it. We get side tracked, and discouraged.

Finally, its ok to not have a big goal like starting a business or writing a book. It can be as simple as drinking more water. Whatever it is that will get you to where you want to be set the goal.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

mental health · Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

LOVE

L-Laugh a lot. It’s true what they say, laughter is the best medicine. Laugh at yourself most importantly. Love yourself enough to poke fun of yourself.

O-Open yourself up to the impossible. Keep your mind, heart, and ears open to learn new things. We can experience love from many people, places, and things.

V-Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. It shows character, strength, courage, and allows others to connect with you on a deeper level. We love more, deeper, and connect when we let our guard down.

E-Extend a helping hand. One of the purist acts of love is lifting someone up.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: 4 Mental Health Tips

There are many factors that play into the downfall of our mental and emotional health. So many circumstances from family, to work, to relationships, to past experiences and the list can go on for days. But there are some things we do on a daily that contribute to giving others the power of draining our emotional tank.

Stop Explaining Yourself

This is my biggest pet peeve when I see adult women specifically, crushing themselves trying to explain what they doing, where they going, why they chose to go left instead of right, and anything else. It’s even worse when they begin explaining without anyone even asking. Which that’s the first sign of someone not being confident in who they are. To be honest even if someone asked you, you still don’t owe anyone an explanation. If how you move about your life needs to be explained then they’re not on your level because if they were they would already know. The decisions you make for you and your family is no one else’s business as long as it doesn’t effect them.

Wasting Your Time Staying Angry

They were never lying when they said it takes a lot of energy to get angry and most importantly stay angry. It takes so much emotional energy to stay angry that people not only empty their tank but everyone else around them. Let just say when a wife gets mad at her husband the entire mood in the house shifts until she starts talking to him again. Even the kids start walking around on egg shells. You waste time that could be spent doing something productive. Not to mention when you stay that angry for some time you begin to not sleep well, which makes things worse and continue to spiral. At this point every thing including your physical body and beautiful face begin to suffer. It just isn’t worth it. Remember they hurt you once, don’t let them keep hurting you by staying angry. That would be giving away too much power.

Living Your Life for Others

When we allow others to influence our decisions we have given them the keys to drive our life. Letting someone tell you “you’re not ready”, “I don’t think that’s a good idea”, or “don’t you think you should wait a while“ are people that you need to keep at arms length. Those are all manipulative, controlling, and selfish ways people get you to do what they want you to do. Be confident in your journey to know what’s best for you and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Making decisions to please others leaves you as the only one suffering. No matter what you try to do nothing is going to make you happy until you live for you.

Staying in a One Sided Relationship

Having hopes and expectation for someone will get us every time. Also knowing the potential a person could have is the most common reason we constantly give so many chances to those who don’t deserve it. It’s true, when people show you who they are believe them. If the relationship makes you question who you are, what you do, or you always seem to be in a confused state then its time to leave. Our relationships should inspire us to be better people. We should feel so much love and support that we have to constantly give it away to others. With no respect, trust, or communication you’re wasting your time. This goes for our romantic relationship as well as our friendships.

These are simple practices that will save us heartache in our daily lives. The amount time spent worrying if someone understands us, feel we care, or sparing their feelings only wastes our time and drain our mental and emotional tank on empty.

They aren’t worth it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

So today is my birthday and for the first time since I was a teenager I am speaking out about it. My typical attitude towards my birthday was to not say anything or even attempt to celebrate it. I’ve never been one of those that begin the week before reminding everyone its my birthday and to plan a week long festivities. When people would ask what you want for your birthday I would blow it off and not even acknowledge they are trying to acknowledge me.

I’ve always chosen to keep my birthday for me. I’ve used my birthday as a day to be with myself mostly mentally and emotionally to kind of reflect and use it as a day to set goals.

Last year I made the decision by my next birthday I was going to be in a better place, mentally and emotionally, and would have made progress in living in who I truly wanted to be. I began speaking aloud what I wanted to accomplish by this year’s birthday and what do you know, I’ve made huge milestones. To be perfectly honest with you guys that is the best gift in the world.

Most importantly I began being truly honest to myself in how I was feeling about my professional 8-5 career and what I wanted it to look like. I always had this vision in my mind and in my heart for years but never nurtured it. Once I began to nurture who I was on the inside I was feeling lighter and lighter as the days went on and feeling more free. Each step of the way I became more confident, encouraged, and motivated to continue on my journey of living the life that had been stifled inside of me.

I noticed I began saying more often “by the time I’m 40” I am going to be here, doing this, and have this accomplished. No I’m not 40, I turned 39 today, and yes I’m proud to say my age, but the goals I set for my 40th I know I’m on the right path.

I say all of this to say if you’re one that gets down because your birthday is coming celebrate yourself and how far you’ve come. It’s your day and you get to spend it however you like. It’s never too late to hit the reset button. You can change the course of your life’s direction and be happy. Just because it’s what you’ve always done or the safest doesn’t mean its the best or right thing for you.

Finally it doesn’t have to be your birthday for you to celebrate yourself or reflect. You can do it every day and don’t feel guilty about it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

How to Discover and Find Who I Am

Who are you? Tell me a little about yourself. Woman. Woman of God. Wife. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Professional. Sounds familiar?! Welp, that’s how most of us answer that question. We begin by stating what titles and positions we hold as if that’s truly who we are. This is one question that many of us struggle to answer. To answer this question is to know how to show your values and morals, know your boundaries and set expectations for your self and others, have a code of conduct, command respect without being disrespectful, and being consistent.

Answering said question takes time. Depending on where you are in your life, what experiences make up your story, how those experiences shaped your beliefs, and where you are in the healing process. There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question. Your answer is going to be different than anyone else’s. There isn’t anywhere we can look to find the answer, except internally.

Discover Yourself

Thought Provoking Questions to Get You Started

  1. What is your pet peeve?
  2. What is your idea of a good time?
  3. What are your flaws?
  4. What is your best feature or attribute?
  5. What makes you cry?
  6. Does your friends inspire you?
  7. Are you happy in your relationship?
  8. Do you smile going to work everyday?
  9. What do you like to read?
  10. What is your favorite television show?
  11. What are you good at?
  12. What are your insecurities?
  13. Three words that best describes you.
  14. How do you handle it when someone pushes your buttons?
  15. What have you been putting off that you really want to do?

These are just a few questions to get you started. Once you begin to answer them honestly a more clear picture of who you are will come to you. For me it all started with me realizing my pet peeve. When someone would ask me what is my pet peeve I would have the deer in headlights look. My pet peeve is someone asking me questions to either pry into my business, get information to use for a later date, or to attempt to diminish what I’m doing. Once I figured this out I was better able prepared to notice when it was happening, divert the conversation, or simply avoid speaking with anyone who would do that to me. It took time and practice for me to get the courage to say “that isn’t something that I’m willing to discuss”.

Finding yourself or learning who you are is a journey. Because the only thing constant is change, maintaining a sense of your core allows you to make decisions without compromising yourself. Get a journal and keep it with you because its going to take time answering the above questions. The answer will come to you at the spare of the moment. Write that answer down and elaborate on it later.

Discovering who you are will set you free.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Mental Health · Self care

Hit The Pause Button and Enjoy Life

We’ve become addicted to being busy. Telling ourselves its the only way to be successful, productive, and to provide for our families. Before we know it, time spent with family has become nonexistent. We’ve become robots and creatures of habit, we must stop and enjoy life.

If you’ve found yourself in a place where you need to stop and enjoy life, feeling lost and need to comeback the first thing to do is create a time dedicated just for you. Use this time to nurture your mind, body, and soul. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. If you want to binge watch a show and eat ice cream, guess what you taking a break and enjoying life.

Next thing you can do is STOP! Yes literally stop. There’s at least once or sometimes twice depending on what’s going, let’s remember I am a mom of 3, I sit on my couch, bed, or at the table and do absolutely nothing. Phone is either so far away from me that I won’t hear it or I’ve turned it off. Television and computer is off. Most of the time the lights are off. I’m literally still, letting my mind clear, wonder, drift, or do nothing. Just be in the moment. Don’t think about the bills, dinner, schedule, work, or anything else you feel has to be done. There isn’t a time frame of how long this stillness last I let it happen naturally.

So much happens on a daily basis that we don’t even realize it because we’re busy keeping the schedule going. Stop and enjoy life, take in the moments, enjoy the funny moment, and create memories.

Finally it’s ok to let the dishes sit until the morning or put that load in the washer. As women we so often put pressure on ourselves to get it all done. Guess what, we always get it done and make it happen. Take a little pressure off yourself, give yourself some credit, and permission to say “I’ll do it tomorrow.” You are still going to be that superwoman that you are.

Remember we aren’t robots. We are here to live and not exist. We’re suppose to enjoy life and live, not live like its a chore.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.