Is Motherhood Supposed to Be Painful?

I came across a video the other day and it really opened my eyes to a different perspective.

A young woman was sharing her experience of becoming a mother. She talked about how, when she and her husband had their baby, they had a village to help them along the way especially when their daughter was newborn to toddler ages. Her mom and his mom rotated coming to their home, helping care for their daughter while they returned to work.

intimate black and white maternity portrait

She spoke about how grateful they were and the sense of relief and peace their mothers provided.
Gratitude that she could go back to work with a peace of mind.
Gratitude that her child was safe, loved, and cared for by family.
Gratitude that neither she nor her husband had to sacrifice their careers.
Gratitude that they didn’t have to carry the financial weight of daycare.

And then she acknowledged she knew not all families had this privilege. For whatever reason it may be. She acknowledged that not everyone has that “village” for support.

Then she posted a follow-up video. Not because she wanted to—but because of the comments she received. Comments that were harsh. Dismissive. Even cruel. BEING A MOM INSPIRES ME

People said things like:

“You’re not a real mother.”
“You don’t know what sacrifice is.”
“You didn’t struggle, so you don’t understand motherhood.”

In her response she explained how so many of us from all different walks of life may have had this idea that motherhood or becoming a mom was a sacrifice not a reward. Yes, it’s the best gift in the world but what society and culture may have presented was a doom and gloom experience. An experience one may have to go through to be considered a “mother.” And as I listened, I couldn’t help but pause. Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught this idea:

That motherhood is supposed to hurt. That becoming a mother means:

You lose yourself
You give up your dreams
You struggle constantly
You carry everything alone

That if it’s not hard… if it’s not heavy… if you’re not overwhelmed…

Then maybe you’re not doing it right. And that belief runs deep.

Across cultures.
Across generations.
Across conversations we didn’t even realize shaped us.

What if motherhood was never meant to be done alone? What if support isn’t a shortcut—but the design?

What if having help doesn’t make you less of a mother…
but actually allows you to be a more present one?

Because let’s be honest:

Being supported doesn’t erase your love.
It doesn’t remove your responsibility.
It doesn’t make your motherhood less real.

It simply means, You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.

A village looks different for everyone.

For some, it’s grandparents.
For others, it’s friends.
For some, it’s community.
And for many… it’s something they wish they had.

And that’s real too. But instead of questioning someone’s motherhood because they have support…

What if we started asking:

Why don’t more mothers have what they need?

Why has struggle become the standard?
Why do we equate suffering with strength?
Why do we normalize burnout as part of the role?

That woman in the video didn’t say her way was the only way.

She simply shared her reality—and expressed gratitude for it.

And somehow, that triggered something in people.

But maybe it’s because her story challenged a belief many of us have carried:

That motherhood must cost you everything.

What if we stopped glorifying struggle?

What if we allowed motherhood to include:

Support
Rest
Help
Joy
Fulfillment

What if we believed we could raise our children and still be whole?

If you’re a mother, or desire to be one, ask yourself:

What have I been taught motherhood should feel like?
Do I believe I have to struggle to be “good enough”?
What would support look like for me?
Where can I allow help instead of resisting it?

Maybe motherhood isn’t supposed to be painful. Maybe it’s supposed to be supported. Maybe it’s supposed to be shared. And maybe…

We’re allowed to want more than just survival.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

It’s Okay to Not Have Anything to Say: Embracing the Power of Silence

I wrote this post a while back and never hit publish. Reading it again reminded me why I started writing about self-care in the first place — so here it is, finally seeing the light of day.

In a world that often values constant communication and rapid responses, it’s easy to feel pressured to always have something to say. Whether it’s in conversations, group settings, or responding to texts and emails, there’s an unspoken expectation that silence is something to be filled. But here’s a truth that I’ve come to embrace: it’s perfectly okay to not have anything to say.

Silence Is Comforting

I’m someone who’s comfortable with silence. I can sit in a room with others and not feel the need to contribute to the conversation. I find peace in those quiet moments, allowing myself to listen and simply be present. While some people might feel uneasy with silence, seeing it as an awkward void that needs to be filled with words, I see it as a natural and valuable part of communication.

There are times when I receive a text or email and don’t have an immediate response. It’s not that I don’t care or that I’m ignoring the person; it’s just that I genuinely don’t have anything to add at that moment. I’ve learned to be comfortable with this and to recognize that not every message needs an immediate or profound response. Sometimes, it’s better to take a moment, reflect, or even let the conversation be for a while. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

Embracing Silence in Conversations

We live in a culture that often equates silence with awkwardness or discomfort, leading many to speak just to fill the space. But silence can be powerful—it allows for deeper listening, reflection, and connection. When you’re not constantly thinking about what to say next, you can truly hear what the other person is saying, absorbing their words and emotions without the distraction of formulating your own response.

There’s a certain strength in being okay with not always having something to say. It shows confidence in who you are and comfort in the present moment. It’s a recognition that not every interaction requires input, and that sometimes, just being there is enough.

It’s Okay to Just Listen

Listening is an underrated skill. In a conversation, being a good listener can be more valuable than contributing a quick or thoughtless comment. Listening shows that you respect the other person’s perspective, and it allows you to learn and grow from what they have to share.

It’s also okay to take a step back and admit that you don’t have anything to add. Conversations don’t always need to be a back-and-forth exchange of ideas; sometimes, they can be a shared experience of simply being together, enjoying the silence, or listening without feeling the pressure to respond.

In the words of Judge Judy, “Put your listening ears on. God gave us two eyes, two ears, and one mouth for a reason.”

Silence isn’t a sign of disinterest or disengagement. It’s a natural part of communication that allows us to process our thoughts, reflect on what’s been said, and approach the conversation with more clarity and intention. Embracing silence can lead to more meaningful interactions and a deeper understanding of both yourself and others.

So, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you don’t have anything to say, remember that it’s perfectly okay. It’s okay to be comfortable in silence, to listen without responding, and to give yourself the space to simply be.

In a world that often values constant chatter, remember that silence has its own power. It’s okay to not have anything to say or to want to say. Whether in conversations, texts, or emails, embracing the comfort of silence can lead to richer, more thoughtful interactions. So, let’s take a moment to appreciate the quiet, the pauses, and the times when just being present is more than enough.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

EMBRACING THE JOYS OF FREE WEEKENDS

I’ve always found the question “What are you doing this weekend?” a bit burdensome. It seems to carry with it an expectation of grand plans or exciting adventures, when sometimes all I crave is quiet solitude or a chance to unwind without a set agenda. It can sometimes feel like a reminder of societal pressures to constantly fill our days with activities. So instead of dreading the question, I’ve learned to simply answer pleasantly, “absolutely nothing.” I’m not ashamed to say nothing, feel like I’m missing out, or not living.

young black lady reading book on bed during skin care routine at home

Let’s talk about the sheer joy of having weekends void of duties and itineraries! Ah, the feeling of waking up on a Saturday morning with absolutely nothing on your agenda except for indulging in whatever your heart desires. It’s a luxury we often overlook in our fast-paced lives, but oh, how rejuvenating it can be!

Imagine no alarms interrupting your precious sleep. No deadlines looming over your head, and no obligations pulling you in different directions. Instead, picture yourself leisurely sipping your favorite brew, whether it’s a steaming cup of coffee or a refreshing herbal tea, as you soak in the tranquility of the morning. I love waking up slowly, taking my time choosing which comfy outfit it will be for the day, and sipping my new favorite tea ginger and honey. 3 SELF CARE REMINDERS FOR THE WEEKEND

With your weekends free, you have the freedom to explore your passions and hobbies without any time constraints. Whether it’s immersing yourself in a captivating book, unleashing your creativity through art or music, or simply spending quality time with loved ones, the possibilities are endless. Or binging on that one show you’ve been recording.

And let’s not forget the joy of spontaneity! When you have no fixed plans, every moment becomes an opportunity for adventure. Maybe you’ll decide to try a new restaurant. After lounging for sometime, maybe you’ll decide to go visit someone, stop for ice cream, or take a walk in nature. The opportunities are endless.

But most importantly, having weekends free of duties and itineraries allows you to recharge and nourish your soul. In a world where busyness is often glorified, taking time to rest and rejuvenate is essential for your well-being. An unpopular opinion is that one of the best luxuries in life is to be able to relax not just body but mind as well. So, embrace the joy of free weekends, my friends, and let yourself relish in the simple joys of life. After all, sometimes the most fulfilling moments are found in the spaces between plans. 🌼✨

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DAILY INSPIRATION: PATIENCE WHILE WAITING

In the last couple of months and my goal for the new year is to be patient. Not just to be patient but in good spirits, positive energy, and anxiety free. We all know that feeling. When we’re anticipating something or wanting something to happen quickly, the universe has a way of putting you on pause. I’ve learned to patiently wait with a good mindset.

The anxiousness in us is pushing for an outcome and most of the time the outcome we want isn’t the right one. Life has a way of working itself out. I’ve always said, “It may not work out how you want or thought it would, but it worked out how it was suppose to.” When it’s your time you will know. Many times what we’re wanting or expecting we’re not ready for.

While waiting do the right thing. Continue to expect good news and things to happen. Be positive. Motivating. Encouraging. Give your time, lend an ear, and give back what you can. Have faith that it’s going to work out. https://amzn.to/3RMWgSs Meditate, pray ,and journal for the strength to handle the outcome even it’s not your desired one. TIME AND PATIENCE ARE TWO IMPORTANT FACTORS FOR GROWTH

Mantra For Patience:

”I embrace the journey, knowing that the right things will come to me at the right time. I release the need to rush and trust in the timing of my life.”

When we release the need to rush the process, we open doors for unexpected blessings, miracles, and joys to enter. Therefore, we create a space for us to enjoy every moment as they come and not feel guilt, shame, or worry. Thank you for peace and clarity.

Take a mental note and remind yourself you are exactly where you need to be. You have exactly what you need each day. Your path is specially designed for you. Every twist, turn, peak, and valley is necessary for your personal growth, journey, and fulfillment.

As you go through each day remember to let the universe guide you. Don’t rush or worry. Embrace the moment you are in presently. https://amzn.to/47BXPZg Practice self love, self care, and gratitude. Lastly, reflect back on a time when things worked out perfectly and it wasn’t what you expected. How did you feel? What did you learn about yourself?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WEEKLY BLOG: CALM AND STILLNESS

The last two weeks my focus and intention has been calm and stillness. I knew and felt like there was so much going on in the world that I didn’t want it to suck me in. After a busy ending of January it was time for me to pause. Taking an occasional pause is very important.

Sunday: Was a reset day for me. I didn’t want to have the day filled with ”stuff” to do. My intentions were to let the day come naturally. I woke up by asking ”God what is it you want me to do today?” And I let Him guide me. It turned out to be a very chilled day. We enjoyed breakfast and coffee at our favorite coffee shop and lounged the rest of the day. One of our rule of thumbs, is to use Sundays as a mental health rest day. We know the importance of keeping a clear mind before our routine busy week with a family of five.

Monday: It’s always busy and back to business. Really had to drag myself to the office because we have been very slow and I would prefer to work from home and get more things done. I always have to quickly remind myself how fortunate and blessed I am to be able to manage my own schedule. Because my ultimate goal is to work for myself full time , any moment I may feel I can be working towards that gets me frustrated when I can’t. Monday evenings are always chill and light because we’re settling into our routine.

Tuesday: Was very busy as I finish up a contract and submit more proposals. Had a learning experience on what to look for when submitting proposals. This freelancer journey is teaching me a lot about business and people in a different way than corporate America. But I’m enjoying it. I had to finish things up at the office because we are expecting a snow storm and everything is going to shut down. After work I made sure we had everything we needed to be snowed in for a couple of days. Of course, my anxiety is up because no matter how much snow and ice we get, my husband has to go to work.

Wednesday: As expected we are snowed in, there’s no school, and my office is closed. I’m happy because I get to spend the day at home, with my kids, and have a mental break. WEEKLY BLOG: BALANCING EVERYDAY LIFE I enjoy waking up, still early, working on the things that make me happy, cooking breakfast, and of course baking a cake. I was able to maintain my midweek clean, relax, and make it a fun successful snow day. While still having my moments of calm and stillness.

Thursday: Another snow day. You better believe I’m loving it. I took advantage of these last two days by setting goals and intentions on how I plan to eventually be able to work for myself full time. Still loving being a mom, cooking, baking, and making sure we soak up every moment we have together. My kids usually love going to school being with their friends, but to my surprise, they are loving the snow days. Even as a mom, I am learning from my kids about life.

Friday: We weren’t sure, but they cancelled school again. I decided to stay home with the kids and work from home. Later on in the afternoon, we decided it was time to go out and play in the snow, shovel ourselves out, and get some fresh air. Although it was still brutally cold, we had fun. Finally the snow has stopped and everyone was ready to get out and breathe some fresh air. In the evening, we enjoyed the beginning event of the Winter Olympics. Just as the Summer Olympics, we love to hear the inspiring stories about the athletes and attempt to learn something from them.

Saturday: Was a much better day. The temps are up and the sun is shining bright. So that helps much of the snow and ice to melt. The kids were having cabin fever. Therefore we decided to go have lunch at Panera. It was a great, quiet, calm afternoon lunch. My husband and I were absolutely excited because the kids chose Panera. The rest of the day and evening enjoying each other, watching the Winter Olympics, and doing nothing. My husband and I use to always think on the weekends we had to go go go. We are more happy binging watching an old tv show from our childhood and drinking coffee.

When I was younger I wish the importance of peace, calm, and stillness was highlighted. Yeah, they tell you to rest, but at the time I was growing up, it was all about grinding and working yourself to exhaustion. If you work yourself into exhaustion, no one is going to benefit from you being in the hospital or having a nervous breakdown. Part of self care is finding that balance of work and stillness.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WHAT DO YOU OFFER?

I heard someone make a comment about what they wanted people to say about them when they leave this earth. That got me thinking about what I have to offer. In order to have an idea of what you want people to say or the legacy you want to leave you have to know what you offer.

After some reflecting I knew exactly what I had to offer. I want to bring someone a sense of peace and calm in their life. Protect Your Peace And Energy Without judgment and criticism, I want people to walk away feeling like they were validated. It’s not my job to point fingers or tell people how they should live. What I can offer is a ear to listen. My heart for compassion. Sympathy and empathy. And then, hopefully, from there they would have the ability to have clarity and understanding.

Most of the time, people know what they are doing, right or wrong. They know how to correct it. Offering someone my time and allowing them to sort through their detour is what I desire. At some point, we all are going to end up on a detour. Sometimes we just need someone to support us through until we get back on the right path.

With that you’ll need patience. Understanding of yourself and where you are mentally and emotionally. Also knowing your boundaries. In turn, your reward, is also growth and healing. When we love and support someone else in a troubled time, we grow emotionally and sometimes have lightbulb moments ourselves. That’s why it’s always good to use the two ears to listen and leave the one mouth close.

At the end of the day, I want to offer peace, calm, and comfort. Settling someone’s mind and heart will give them endless strength to make the decisions needed going forward. Furthermore, I’m pretty sure they have received a fair share of judgment, it doesn’t need to come from me. What is it you have to offer?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Protect Your Peace And Energy

My friends it is very important that we reach a place in our mind, heart, body, soul, and spirit where we are at peace. I mean you have to get to a point where nothing or no one can shift or shake your mood, get you upset, and ruin your day.

P-Protect your mental and emotional wellbeing. Love from a distance. Forgive and move on. Create space if needed to. Make sure that you are putting yourself in positions to feed off positive energy and people.

E-Evolving into the person you want to become is a process. Enjoy the process. Evolving is great and we are going to constantly evolve as we age and grow.

A-Acknowledge vulnerability. Being vulnerable allows you to get to know yourself on an intimate level. Peeling back the layers and being free gives you a clear vision of yourself.

C-Cheer yourself up daily. If you do something good tell yourself that. If you feel like you look good that day, tell yourself that. Don’t be afraid to affirm and pat yourself on the back.

E-Expand your mind and heart to believe higher about yourself. God doesn’t have limits on us, so neither should we. Believe higher and better about yourself. Know you can do the impossible. Even if others doubt you or don’t believe in you. GOD IS A KEEPER

Please understand that you remaining calm, not responding verbally or non verbal, rejecting phone calls, not responding to text and taking your moment is OK to do. Anything negative or not in your best interest shall be dismissed or blocked.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.