WHY BUYING THINGS YOU DON’T NEED ISN’T SELF CARE

We are living in a time where overconsumption and consumerism has easily equated self care to buying the latest gadgets, trendy clothing, and other non-essential items. Yes, a little retail therapy can provide an instant gratification that lasts just as long as a TikTok video. But genuine self care is nurturing your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing and this cannot be achieved by acquiring more stuff.

close up shot of scrabble tiles on a white surface

Retail therapy provides the illusion of self care. It’s touted as a quick fix to stress or anxiety when in actuality it leads to more stress and anxiety. Once the instant gratification wears off, the process of finding the next thing to buy to give us that high begins. When true self care is figuring out why the material needs are there to provide happiness. Find out how to be happy without. Retail therapy provides you with debt, empty happiness, and too much meaningless stuff taking up space. The debt, mental and emotional clutter from the stuff, counteract the intended purpose. Your peace has been shattered by stuff.

”Buying things you don’t need and can’t afford isn’t self care.”

True self care is about the simple things in life. Focus on your diet, strengthen your muscles, getting outside, laughing more, getting your check ups done, and healing your insecurities by going to the source of them. Healing whatever pain and trauma you may have to ensure you are better for the relationships you have in life. True self care is being financially informed, aware of your spending habits, and making good choices. You can practice great self care by creating an environment of calm and peace. Keeping your mind and physical space decluttered.

Yes, taking a bath or shower is an instant mood booster. But you don’t need an overly priced body wash to take your daily shower. Purchasing a new gym outfit isn’t going to help you shed the pounds faster. Find something in your closet that’s old and can get sweaty. A $40 water bottle is unnecessary. As long as you wash and moisturize you don’t need a 20 step skin care routine. Take it from a self proclaimed beauty junkie. In fact, the more simple my routine became the better my skin health became. 3 SELF CARE MOMENTS FROM LAST WEEK

Self care is free. Self care is simple. Self care is finding a deeper connection with yourself. As you prepare for the warmer months focus on having experiences and not things. Get outside. Enjoy nature, music, people, food, and good conversation. When you go home be grateful for the moments, and prepare to do it all over again.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

PUTTING THE PHONE DOWN TO EXPERIENCE LIFE FIRST HAND

This past week my husband and I were reflecting upon the last 3 weeks and the emotional high of our son graduating from high school. Beginning the ending of April with his award ceremony to prom and finally graduation and all other senior activities in between it was an emotional high that we’d never forget. All the preparations, shopping trips, photo shoots, parades, dinners, and engagements we were like hamsters on a wheel. We wanted to experience and support him without regret.

selective focus photography of woman using white and black slr camera

Amongst all that, I was repeatedly asked from family, friends, coworkers, and even fellow parents “Mom how do you feel?” I would always respond “I don’t know yet.” First I was in mom mode. Ensuring my baby had the experience he wanted. Secondly, I was purposefully remaining in the moment. And I didn’t want it to be about me, this was his time. LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

Which lead me to the thought of me sitting in the stadium at graduation and not for one moment I picked up my phone. As my husband and I were discussing it, those 3 weeks or so was a blur. I remained in the moment so well that I experienced those moments first hand. What is that you may ask?

How often do we go on vacation or attend events and without a thought, immediately the phone is out and camera is rolling. If we think about it, many of our most precious moments that we can’t get back were experienced through a lens. Experiencing certain moments through a lens only captured what’s in that square. Sitting at that graduation I can see photographically the entire stadium. Where people sat. The mom’s perfume smell that sat in front of me. The baby crying 2 rows down. I was in the moment. Reflecting on the award ceremony I was the same. I hugged my son, watched him walk to his seat. Get with his friends and then I sat.

I ask, are you living life first hand or through a lens. I once heard one of my OG YouTubers I watch say she doesn’t vlog anymore because she missed the experience of some milestones with her kids because she picked up the camera. She said I was seeing it the first time with my viewers instead of embracing the moment.

Do I have great photos. I absolutely do. We had family there that gave us the grace to enjoy our son while they took amazing videos and photos. I know what some might say, but we want to share. That’s also an amazing thing to do. But as I told my mom, even the happiest moments are the most precious and not everyone is privileged to experience those with us. I see most people post photos before the graduation or event is even over. Which brings me back to it’s about him and not me.

As the summer begin and you go out more, I challenge you to put your phone down and experience life first hand. The photographic memory and all around sensory experience will be better than any capture in a square. Have a great day!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT SIDE HUSTLES BEFORE YOU BEGIN

If you’re looking to supplement your income most likely you’ve Googled or searched side hustles. If not, on every social media platform you are bombarded with people telling you how to make a $1000 a day. Side hustles have become vital avenues for those who are seeking financial independence, an additional stream of income, or to diversify their career. However, there are many things to know before starting immediately as most influencers will tell you.

As someone who started their own blog, has been an Upwork freelancer, Poshmark seller, and freelance writer for other publications I’ve learned many lessons along the way. FINDING BALANCE IN LIFE: CAN YOU REALLY HAVE IT?

Do your research. Whether you’re selling items, blogging, freelancing, or pet sitting, you need to spend time researching. One of the best tricks I do is read reviews and comments that aren’t highly regarded. For example, I’ll watch a negative review about Poshmark before I watch or read 10 articles of someone gloating about it. Things such as your username, thumb nail pic, photo, when you list or post, how you market yourself, the day and time you publish and the list goes on and on is vital to your success.
Know Your Legal Risks. In every side hustle, there are legal risks. For example, if you do affiliate marketing there are legal risks for photos used and how you share links. As wells as the proper way to disclose the advert. Another example is if you are a pet sitter, and someone gets hurt on your watch you could be responsible for medical bills. Or if you are a ride share driver and get into an accident you could be liable for damages.
Side Hustles Are A Real Business. So often you hear people say my hobby turned into a business. That’s true. You have to be passionate about your side hustle. However, it’s a real business that requires a great deal of planning. Most people will tell you to start today. Well, what’s your business plan? What are your expenses? Who is the customer, client, or target audience? What problem are you solving? If these questions aren’t thought out and answered you’ll find yourself blowing with the wind, losing money and motivation.
You have to be tech savvy. Especially starting off and not wanting to spend or outsource on technology . You have to be your own marketing guru, troubleshooting tech, creative director, and so forth. Also technology is your best friend as it will give you the tools needed to stay organized and free some time up. Using automation, calendars, and apps to help propel your business. For example, there is an automation for me to share my listings instead of doing them myself. Automation for social media marketing frees up so much time. Use your tech wisely.
Time management is key. You’ll often hear people say work your 9-5 and then spend 5-9 working your side hustle. Well everyone can’t do that. Growing any side hustle takes time, effort, and patience. You’ll want to create a schedule that’s realistic for you and your lifestyle. Knowing over time it may have to adjust or change. Going head first and giving up everything can result into burn out and other areas in your life lacking. However, if you just wing it and pour sprinkles into it you’ll get out of it what you put in.
Side Hustles can take you down a bumpy road. Once starting your business know that circumstances out of your control will affect you. Always be in learning mode. Willing to expand your business model. And never give up. There will be times you question everything. But remember your why.

Side hustles are a great way to diversify your income, add extra money to your savings, and help you fulfill your dreams of being a business owner. As you begin it’s important to stay focused, informed, and be adaptable. You can avoid some common pitfalls by understanding the intricacies of legal requirements, time management, demand, and the market. All it takes is one step at a time. Good luck!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

GROWTH BEGINS WITH UNLEARNING

After watching a show last night and a young lady kept saying she wanted to change and not be closed off, harsh, mean, aggressive, and short with others, I was thinking she can’t change until she unlearns to relearn. This seems to be the most common theme amongst those who want to change, heal, grow, and be better. The simple factor to understand at the beginning of every journey, is growth begins when you start to unlearn. In order to be better you have to unlearn all the habits, thoughts, behaviors, and actions that you were taught or picked up as defense mechanisms.

quote on signboard on shabby wall near bright green leaves

Unlearning to relearn will take you down a road where you’ll meet pot holes, detours, speed bumps, and construction. You’re going to begin to question what you were taught. Why you were taught certain things. This will build mixed emotions. We don’t want to believe what we were taught or experienced was wrong but our behaviors and mechanisms were picked up from childhood. Keep in mind what we were taught or picked up wasn’t wrong per say. This young lady expressed she acts in such a harsh manner because that was the only time she received high praise from her mom and family.

Side note: When I used to watch my favorite show “Iyanla Fix My Life”, she would often ask guest “What did your mother teach you about being a woman?” Food for thought.

Unlearning to relearn takes time and more patience than you can bargain for. Your path to growth isn’t linear. Growth is a journey that takes you down many side roads and some you may have to double back on. It’s also important to remember it took your childhood, teenage years, and possible some adult years to develop those habits. So give yourself some grace. It won’t happen over night.

Relearning is going to require actively seeking new knowledge, skills, and experiences that align with your personal growth journey. In turn, this will open the doors of curiosity and your willingness and openess to try new things. Will you be out of your comfort zone? Yes. But that’s where the change happens. SPRING, BLOSSOM, AND FLOURISH

While relearning you’ll be required to humble yourself and admit you were wrong, don’t have all the answers, and need help. Thus forcing us to seek help and realize we need help to understand, organize our new thoughts, and find resources of support. Relearning is an ongoing process and will require a persistent commitment from you for your growth.

If you don’t know where to begin, start journaling some behaviors and habits you’d like to unlearn. How did those develop, how they make you feel, others feel, and why you want to grow from it. After self reflections, challenge your perspective and narrative about it. Then seek new ways of thinking and being. Finally be patient and kind with yourself.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.