During a recent conversation, I found myself saying something that stuck with me:
“Unfortunately, one of the things we learn too late in life—or not at all—is that we are responsible for our own happiness.”
For so long, many of us believe that happiness is something external—something given to us by others, our circumstances, or the right opportunities. We think:
That’s a tough reality to accept, but it’s also empowering. Because when you stop waiting for someone else to make you happy, you take back control of your life.
You have the power to create your own happiness, despite what’s missing.
Stop Searching Outside, Start Looking Within
Everything we seek externally—peace, love, validation, fulfillment—already exists within us. But so many people spend their entire lives chasing happiness in the wrong places, only to realize too late that it was within them all along.
This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated 18 years of marriage, and like clockwork, everyone who knew about it asked the same question: “So, what are y’all going to do to celebrate?” I get it—when people think of anniversaries, they often picture grand gestures like dressing up for a fancy dinner, jetting off for a quick vacation, or throwing a big party with family and friends. While that sounds great for some, we chose to do it our way, just as we’ve done throughout our marriage.
Instead of following the traditional “anniversary script,” we spent the day doing all the things we love doing together. It wasn’t flashy or over-the-top—it was simply us. And that’s the beauty of it: whether it’s an anniversary, a milestone, or just a regular day, the secret to happiness is living life your way.
Whenever someone asks us what the secret to our lasting marriage is, we always tell them the same thing: do it your way. Trying to live your life, marriage, or any relationship by what society says you should do just doesn’t work. Life isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. What brings one person joy may not bring the same sense of fulfillment to another, and that’s perfectly okay.
The truth is, there’s no “right” way to live. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can be overwhelming. You’re supposed to follow the timeline, hit all the traditional milestones, and do things the way everyone else does. But here’s the thing: living your life by someone else’s standards won’t make you happy.
Whether it’s celebrating our anniversary, making decisions about family, or handling life’s challenges, we’ve always found joy and peace in doing things our way.
Living life your way isn’t just about making yourself happy—it’s about living authentically. When you stop trying to meet everyone else’s expectations and start embracing what truly makes you feel fulfilled, everything changes. You’re more at peace, less stressed, and more confident in your decisions.
The idea that you have to follow a certain path to live a happy, fulfilled life is outdated. The truth is, there are no rules. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing to find joy. You don’t have to follow a checklist or meet certain milestones by a certain age. You’re free to design your life in a way that works for you.
This is the message I want to share with anyone reading this: Livelife your way. Don’t let societal pressures or other people’s opinions dictate how you should live and celebrate. Whether you’re celebrating 18 years of marriage or making a big life decision, remember that the only opinion that truly matters is yours. Embracing the Detours of Life: When Plans Go Off Course
As we celebrated our anniversary doing all the things we love together, I was reminded once again of the power of living life on your terms. It’s not about what others expect—it’s about what feels right to you.
So, the next time you feel pressured to conform or follow someone else’s idea of happiness, remember this: you don’t have to. Livelife your way, celebrate your way, and enjoy your journey your way. There’s no better way to find joy, fulfillment, and peace than by being true to yourself.
Yesterday, as I ventured out to do some errands, I was met with dark and cloudy skies, wind, and a cast of grayness. The rain poured down so heavily my visibility was almost nonexistent, and it felt as if the gloom would never lift. But then, something beautiful happened when I walked out the store. Despite the rain still coming down, the sun broke through the clouds, shining brighter than before . And to put a cherry on top I looked up and a vibrant rainbow appeared in the sky.
Instantly, this reminded me of an important life lesson: darkness doesn’t last forever. Just as the storm passed and gave way to light and color, our toughest times are often followed by moments of joy and clarity.
We all face dark and stormy periods in our lives. These can come in many forms—personal loss, professional setbacks, health challenges, financial difficulties, or emotional struggles. In the midst of these storms, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. Even at some point wanting to throw in the towel. The darkness can cloudy our vision, making it hard to see a way forward. We may feel as if the storm will never end, and the weight of our troubles can be almost unbearable.
The Power of Persistence
However, just as with the weather, the key is to persevere. No storm lasts forever, and neither do the challenges we face. By enduring and pushing through the tough times, we allow ourselves the opportunity to witness the brighter days that follow. It’s important to remember that the sun is always there, even when hidden behind clouds. Our moments of light and happiness are waiting to break through, often when we least expect it. When we feel like we’re about to break, that’s when the light will begin to peak through. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION
The Symbolism of the Rainbow
The rainbow that appeared after the storm is a powerful symbol of hope, happiness, and renewal. Rainbows have long been seen as a sign of promise, indicating that even after the darkest times, beauty and joy can emerge. They remind us that life is a balance of both rain and sunshine, and that both are necessary to create the fullness of our experiences.
Embracing the Light
When the sun shines through the rain, it serves as a sign for finding light in our darkest moments. It encourages us to look for the positives even when we are struggling. It’s about finding those small glimmers of hope and holding onto them. These moments of light can come from various sources—support from loved ones, personal achievements, or simply taking time to appreciate the beauty around us.
As we move through life, it’s essential to carry the lesson of the rainbow with us. When faced with adversity, remind yourself that this too shall pass. Tough times don’t last. Embrace the idea that after every storm, there is potential for renewal and joy. Allow yourself to feel the rain, but also be ready to welcome the sun when it shines again.
The experience of witnessing the sun break through a storm and seeing a rainbow reminds us that darkness is temporary. No matter how hard it rains or how dark it gets, the light will eventually shine through, bringing with it new opportunities for happiness and growth. So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of a storm, remember to hold on and look for the rainbow that follows. It’s a beautiful reminder that brighter days are always ahead.
In our fast-paced digital and trendy world, the pursuit of balance in life seems like an elusive goal. Everywhere you turn the topic of finding balance in your life is upon you. But, can you truly ever have “balance?” We juggle careers, relationships, personalgrowth, health, and countless other responsibilities, often feeling like we’re on a tightrope, struggling to find stability. Or my favorite, we’re often that hamster on a wheel going no where fast. But amidst the chaos, is balance truly attainable? How do we determine if we can ever achieve it?
What is life balance? First, let’s get rid of this notion that we can have the “perfect” life balance. And once we find or get it, we’ll sustain it. Balance doesn’t mean allocating equal time and energy to every aspect of your life. Rather, it’s about prioritizing what matters most to you at any given moment and allocating resources accordingly. Life is a journey, and as we travel through our journey our priorities will shift and change. We’ll have peaks and valleys. There will be light and darkness. Embracing this road, the changes, and different seasons will determine how well we “balance”.
So where do we begin seeking this balance in life? To determine if balance is achievable for you, start by identifying your priorities. What brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose? Is it your career, relationships, health, hobbies, or personalgrowth? Reflect on what truly matters to you, both in the short and long term. From there, be intentional on what you want to achieve. After that’s clear drive your focus. What we put our focus into will grow.
Once you’ve identified your priorities, assess how you’re currently allocating your time and energy. Are you spending the majority of your resources on activities that align with your priorities? Or are you caught up in tasks that drain you without contributing to your overall well-being? Be honest with yourself and consider where adjustments can be made. As of late I started meal prepping to ensure I not only had lunch the next day, but lunch for my specific eating goals. This also give me the ability to switch my workout time to get me to bed earlier. MENTAL HEALTH AND SELF CARE IS FREE
Perfection is boring!!!!! It’s essential to understand finding balance in life doesn’t mean you’re striving to be perfect. Life is messy, and there will inevitably be times when certain areas receive more attention than others. Sometimes life will take you down a road where the only win for you on a given day is waking up and brushing your teeth. Embrace imperfection and give yourself permission to prioritize self-care and flexibility. Remember, it’s okay to say no to commitments that don’t align with your priorities.
Check out some of my current favorite indulgences that keep me comfortable, happy, peaceful, and organized. Also helps me maintain my sense of “balance.”
Mindfulness and living intentionally is important while trying to pursue balance. By staying present and synced to your thoughts, feelings, and actions, you can make conscious choices that support your well-being. Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling into your dailyroutine to cultivate inner peace and clarity. If that’s not your thing, give yourself 5 minutes of silence to connect to you. Feel you. Hear you. What do you need? Check in with your plate that day. What have you eaten? What does your body need? Have you moved enough?
While you’re finding balance, ask for help. Achieving balance doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional coach for support and guidance. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you to prioritize your well-being. Building yourself a foundational system that you can rely for honesty, encouragement, peace, comfort, joy, and direction . Also be mindful of the content you consume, how much, and the purpose behind the content.
Finally, be realistic about what balance means for you. Everyone “balance” in life looks different. Not everyone is seeking balance. Do what makes you feel good and able to navigate your day peacefully. It’s essential to adjust your expectations based on your journey. Your road may have more turns and hills. While others may be a little more flat. Understand that balance is a never ending journey that requires ongoing effort and adaptation. Celebrate small victories along the way and be compassionate with yourself during times of imbalance.
On a final note, while achieving perfect balance may be an unattainable ideal, finding harmony in life is within reach. By identifying your priorities, assessing your time and energy allocation, embracing imperfection, cultivating mindfulness, seeking support, and adjusting your expectations, you can navigate the complexities of life with greater ease and fulfillment. Remember, balance is not a destination but a journey—an ongoing pursuit fueled by self-awareness, intentionality, and compassion. #Bewell
