happiness habits Archives

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

”Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”-Buddha

There are several keys to happiness. Do whatever you want to do. Whenever someone asks me where do I begin, I literally tell them to do whatever it is you want to do or been dying to do. For some of us, this step is difficult and often skipped over.

The key to being happy and not feeling weighed down is living the life you want to live not how others think you should live. We all have received unsolicited advice, opinions, and directions as to what someone else think we should do.

I know many people who’ve been criticized for not working in the field they received their college degree in. What’s it to them? Especially if they aren’t paying your bills, feeding your children, and you don’t work for them.

How many times have you been subjected to criticism because you wanted to change careers, go back to school, or move away. From experience, I moved out of state, and my family feels like I abandoned them, and left the family. Therefore, that is why I’m often treated like an outcast. Did it hurt me when they told me that, absolutely. But I quickly reminded myself the vision I have for my life and my children’s life going forward. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: OPINIONS DON’T DEFINE YOU

The key to being happy in doing what you want to do, is knowing you are doing it for you. You can’t live your life for others. Whether you do it or not, someone is always going to have something to say. As my mother used to tell me when I was younger, “you’re doing something right cause you are on their mind.”

So wouldn’t you rather live happily doing what you want to do instead of being unhappy doing what others think you should be doing? Furthermore, what do you have to lose? If you lose relationships because you choose to live your life, then those relationships wasn’t as solid as you thought. Ok, if you start a new business venture and lose money, that will sour things a bit, but God will always provide and provide another opportunity.

One of my first keys to happiness is doing what you want to do. Most often we are unhappy because we are settling. We’ve boxed ourselves into a position to make others feel comfortable and because ”this is what society says you should be doing”, or this is how it’s always been.

If you are struggling, confused, and feel cornered, push your way out by making decisions to do what you want to do. You don’t just have to be one thing. I love doing many things, yes my college degree is in Business Administration. But I’m a certified medical billing coder, licensed insurance agent, freelancer, and other things. You have every right to connect to every part of who you are.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.