We’ve all had those moments of feeling anxious. Sometimes we don’t realize it, until after the fact that we were in a frenzy. When your heart start to pound, your hands get sweaty, your body becomes unsettled, or you just have a sense that something isn’t right you’re probably feeling a little anxious.

upset black woman on bed in house

Often times we think it takes huge measures to calm down. In actuality, it’s your small self care practices that will help ease your anxiousness. Here are some things I do when feeling a little anxious.

  • Exercise/Go for a walk
  • Clean
  • Listen to music
  • Call a friend or family member. If the first person doesn’t pickup, I keep calling until someone does.
  • Go to a quiet room, close the door, and sit
  • Pray/Meditate
  • Journal
  • Fix a dish or meal I’ve always wanted to try
  • Read
  • Watch an inspiring video
  • Read motivational quotes on Pinterest
  • Talk to my husband
  • Drink a cup of coffee or tea
  • Find a program to watch
  • Pause, take a break, and do nothing
  • Give myself a pep talk
  • Take a hot shower or bath

The key to calming myself when anxious is to focus on myself. Do things to get my mind occupied, figure out why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling, and to move past it. Most importantly it doesn’t last forever. Relying on your self care activities and do the things that makes you feel you is key to overcoming your anxiousness. SIMPLE SELF CARE MORNING ROUTINE WHEN FEELING BLUE

Even if you have a moment of anxiousness at work, doing certain self care practices will help calm yourself down. Several practices from the list can be done at home, work, vacation, or anywhere you may begin to feel your blood pressure rising.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore those feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them. Understand the why, and grow through it. We can’t stop them from happening but we can manage it well if we keep our self awareness high.

Be well on your journey.


Be you so you can be free.


After many conversations with my mom, I noticed one thing, she was constantly trying to prove herself. I finally got the guts, to say”why are you wasting time proving yourself?”. I noticed on several occasions the common theme was her attempting to explain herself, show how much she knows, or stressing herself proving she can do something. Needless to say that hurt me to the core.

Be You No Matter What

Once I asked her, why she continues to waste her time proving herself, she reluctantly admitted that has been something she battled with since she was a teenager. My mom went on to explain how her being the youngest of four children, she always felt the need to show her siblings she’s just as capable if not more in some situations. They still view her as the baby and she doesn’t want to be viewed that way.

Once I let her release her feelings, there are some things I relayed to her that I’d like to relay to you all. If my mom, who I won’t reveal her age, has these feelings, I know there is someone out there who has them as well. At some point we all have experienced or felt the need to prove or show ourselves.

First, its a complete waste of time. Who ever you are trying to prove yourself to has their mind already made up. For whatever reasons, that’s non of your business.They have drawn conclusions without getting to know you personally. Because their minds are made up, nothing you say or do will suede them in the other direction.

On one hand, you think you are showing them what you know and how right you are, but all you are doing is hurting yourself. Because they aren’t changing their mind about you, you are constantly trying to figure out ways to prove them wrong. Eventually, you begin to question everything you say or do. It’s a never ending cycle that will kill your self esteem and confidence.

Before you know it, you are making decisions based off what others think of you. That is a recipe for an emotional tornado. All in all, the other person can know deep down the truth but because they have made their mind up, they will not budge on their point of view. If anyone, makes you feel less than, they aren’t worth sharing the same air you breath.

What someone thinks about you isn’t any of your business. They see something in you that has their insecurities show up. The best thing you can do, is be yourself and do what makes you happy. Also don’t put yourself in any position to receive negative energy or feedback. It is essential to create an atmosphere around yourself that protect your mental and emotional wellbeing.

When we have to please others or prove who we are, we are insecure in our capacity of being our authentic selves. You never know, you being your authentic self just may motivate them to see a different point of view. Why are you wasting time proving something to others, when that precious time can be spent on you?

Lastly, that is way too much power and control given away. The person or persons you’re trying to convince is controlling your thoughts, actions, and decisions. You are living for someone else. That is a NO NO!!!!! Stop wasting time trying to prove yourself. Just be you and let everyone and everything fall into place.


Be you so you can be free.

Experience the Power of Being Still

Phones ringing, fax machine ringing and spitting out paper, clients walking in, meeting at the next desk with coworkers, papers on your desk, sticky notes, agendas, files, balancing the books, have to go to the bathroom, husband texting you what’s for dinner, school emailing you regarding re-entry plan, and you just ran out of coffee. Welp that was a day in my 8-5. I’m going to backtrack and say that was happening before lunch time even came.

I have experienced this scene more than once in my professional career. With all that chaos going on around you while you’re trying to be productive, do your job, and focus. That could be difficult for anyone. What usually end up happening is the rest of your day you’re equilibrium is off. There is this unsettling feeling on the inside, you can’t calm your nerves, or focus on anything the rest of day.

You get in the car drive home and begin to think back of that moment in time when the office was crazy and say “what happened?” How many times have you been in a situation to where nothing was said to you, done to you, meant for you, or about you but because everyone else in the office was in an uproar you became out of sync with your being.

After experiencing this more than once I vowed to not ever get myself worked up over nothing. Just because coworkers are having a “moment” and venting to me I wasn’t going to let it effect me again. I didn’t like the way I felt driving home and when my husband would ask “why are you on edge?” I wouldn’t have an answer.

Fast forward to present day, and that chaotic office scene occurred again. “The power of being still”. That is what I said when I was walking to my car with the biggest smile from ear to ear. I’m pretty sure the folks driving by thought I was crazy for grinning so hard. First thing I did was detach myself from everyone. I remained focus on what I was doing, didn’t feed any negative energy that they were attempting to serve, and remained quiet. This allowed me to stay calm and be present in myself. There were even times I was able to chuckle at the commotion that was going on.

I felt as light as a feather after the dust settled . I was screaming Hallelujah!!!!!! that I had the ability to center myself. As usual, you find it really didn’t need all that to solve a problem or get done what needed to be done. That not only works in the professional world but in everyday life. There is so much power in remaining still. Don’t get so riled up that you won’t be able to make a decision, complete something, or miss out because you have lost focus. Then have hindsight looking back realizing it wasn’t what it was cracked up to be.

There is power in being still.


Be you so you can be free.