We have to be very careful at easing our foot off the gas pedal. Don’t lose focus on yourself and drift off into another lane. When we lose focus and drift off, accidents happen, we hit a bump in the road, end up going down the wrong street, and stuck between trucks that hinders our vision front and back. In result, we have lost time and now playing catchup trying to get back on track.

happiness is a piece of cake close up photography

Keep your focus on why you started in the first place. Anytime you get a little tired, take a break and regroup yourself. Don’t lose focus on why you started that new course, financial savings goal, relationship, healing journey, or whatever else you’ve begun for yourself. Take a moment and list all the milestones you’ve reached so far. The lessons you learned thus far. Make a list of 3 goals going forward. 7 SELF REFLECTION JOURNAL PROMPTS Journal your thoughts and experiences on how your journey is going. Regrouping and reassessing will give you clarity and motivation to keep going.

Don’t lose your focus yourself and keep going even when you feel like nothing is happening. Even when you don’t see physical results or change happening, every little step you take is progress. If we saw results, activity, or change every time we took a step then we’ll have nothing to look forward to. That is the idea of hope and faith. Believing in the things not seen or heard. When feeling a little discouraged pray, meditate, and center yourself. Remind yourself that you are here for a purpose, a vision was placed in you to fulfill, and you have everything needed to complete the assignment.

When you get bored and lose your focus it’s time to get creative. Switch things up, try something new, and renew your focus. As we grow, what worked for us will no longer work. The more we heal the more we grow. Therefore, the need for new and exciting is broadened. Creativity allows for endless space to grow.

Are you tired of all this self care talk? Don’t want to hear about routines, habits, and caring for yourself? Guess what, we have to stay in our lane so we don’t veer off. That’s why self care, routines, and creating habits are a constant must. Focusing on you, being the most healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, will allow you to withstand whatever is going on in the world. Keeping your focus on you is motivation for others to focus on themselves. It inspires everyone to be whole thus having a healthy community of support.

Staying committed to yourself is the best self care you can do for yourself. The relationship you have with you, will be the best one you have and the strongest. You owe it to yourself.

Keep your focus. Empty out the negative. Focus on the positive. Believe in your own strength.

Have a great week!!!!!!


Be free so you can be you.


What does self love mean to you? The truth is we all have different ideas of what self love is, should be, or can be. Here are 5 reminders we all can use when exercising self love.

    Neither one of us is perfect. Nor, will we ever be. To the end of time we all will have flaws. The key to self love is knowing we were made in the perfect image of God. We are enough no matter what the flaw is. Embracing the good in you increases your confidence and boosts your self esteem. However, embracing the perfect imperfections allows a great sense of self awareness. Knowing where you lack in something or need assistance gives you power to seek help, assistance, and get better. In return, will also increase your confidence. TUESDAY TIP: LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES
    Unfortunately, we can’t just wake up one day and say I have self love. It’s a muscle we have to exercise daily. This self love muscle will need intentional care, actions, and recovery. As we age, grow, and heal we will have to exercise the muscle accordingly. Our ability to evolve and have self awareness will depend on how strong our muscle is. There isn’t a destination for self love. It’s the journey that makes the love grow stronger and stronger.
    When exercising self love, we have to be mindful of our expectations, goals, and reality. We can always dream, hope, and wish. But living in reality and setting realistic expectations will allow us to achieve the love for ourselves. Not looking to be perfect or seeking perfection will help stay on track. Accepting, embracing, and acknowledging each step before we move forward is key to achieving self love. Completing a level before moving forward will make for an enjoyable journey.
    If you believe you can, then you will. What we tell ourselves is important to the journey of self love. If our mindset is lack, then we will operate in lack. If we think we deserve abundance then we will make abundance decisions and choices. Think highly of yourself, believe in your abilities, and know you deserve the love first. Once you do, then everyone else will follow suit. We teach people how to treat us.
    Because self love isn’t a destination, there isn’t a such thing as perfection, and it’s ever evolving grace will be needed. You will have good days and bad days. There will be times you feel love, inspired, and motivated. Other times, you may feel alone, no one understand, and nothing is happening. Give yourself the grace to feel. Once you feel, adapt, adjust, and continue to love yourself. Healing and growth is a process.

Keep these 5 self love reminders handy when going through your journey. Your journey is unique to you and no one else has to understand.

Be well on your journey.


Be you so you can be free.


There have been a few changes I’ve noticed about myself. At first I wasn’t really paying attention but then I know I’ve grown because of certain lifestyle habits.

The first thing I noticed of how I’ve grown is I have to have desert right after eating. Also the sheer desire to even have dessert is unusual for me. I never really been a sweet eater. But my tastes buds are changing. I used to give people the side eye when they’d eat desert right after a meal, but I’ve come to enjoy dessert more right after. Now when I say dessert, I am talking about a slice of cake or pie. After breakfast a warm cinnamon roll is so good. In turn, chips and candy I have no desire for. My tastebuds have clearly matured.

The next one I noticed is I’ve become more focused, stressed, and obsessive about making sure my home is comfortable and inviting. Of course I used to clean all the time, but I focus more on energy, aroma, and comfort. I enjoy being home and it should be the place where my family feels most peaceful. On a daily I try to create an environment of peace and calm. Furthermore, when people come over I want them to experience a sense of peace for a moment.

Another way I’ve grown and is shocking for me, is I will purchase “just because” flowers. I never really was a flower person, but as of late having some fresh colorful flowers in the house is natural happiness. The colors creates a visual sense of joy. The scent is calming and adds fresh aroma to the house. And the smile they bring to your face every time you walk pass is contagious. Purchasing yourself some flowers just because is a quick way to boost your mood, spirit, and self esteem.

The older I get it seems the more my scalp gets dry. I’ve had to completely switch my hair routine because the dryness is out of control. I’ve always had dry skin, but never really scalp dryness. I can remember the days my mom and grandmother used complain about their scalp. Now here I am grabbing all the moisture I can get.

Lastly I know I’ve grown because smooth jazz is my preferred music of choice. Outside of gospel and a podcast I really can relax and enjoy smooth jazz. Listening to it in the car, at my office, while I’m cooking, and at night has become very relaxing to me. The days I used to dread riding in the car with my elders and listening jazz, has now become my kids. It’s amazing how the tide turns.

Well that is just a few things I have noticed lately. As a part of my self care, I intentionally make it a point to be in tuned to my being. I want to be consciously aware of my body, mental, and emotional being. I enjoy being able recognize the differences and how I grow and mature. Life is a journey.LIFE…We Only Get One We are forever going to evolve. I don’t want to regret not enjoying the process and being in the moment.

Growth is a process.


Be you so you can be free.


The other day I was walking with my husband and we were doing some reflecting on this past year as well as our 15 year marriage. The one thing that we always came back to was, God has kept us. God is a keeper. No matter what you go through or how bad a situation may seem, God has always kept us, you, and everyone else. How else are you able to sit here breathing and reading this. God has kept you.

What has God kept you from? When you were falling and didn’t hit that ground. He swooped you up right before you hit. There were times a bill or debt needed to be taken care of, God provided. It may not have been how you thought. Or, the resources come from the places we least expect. You’ve been able to eat everyday, God has kept you. Each and everyday you wake up, God has kept you. Let’s say the obvious, we survived an unpredictable year. God has kept us.

Most importantly there are many things God has kept us from and we don’t even know it. He has blocked us from so much without us knowing. In any event, you have overcome. There is so much you can probably say about what you’ve been through, but I guarantee you that there is more God has protected you from.

As we were reflecting on our walk, we agreed that trying to maintain control made issues worse than they should have been. I think we are all guilty of that. Trying to control and hold on to things that God has clearly said let go and let me handle it. Most often, we need to let go and let God lead us into the direction He has set for us. Gods ways is better than ours.

If you find yourself going around in the same cycle, let go and trust God to lead you. He has kept you this long, He will continue. Move out His way and let his will be done. He won’t steer you wrong. Trusting God, you can’t never lose. Allow Him in to lead you. Let him keep you as he has done so many times before.

Trust and have faith. God is a keeper!!!! STRENGTH

P.S. I am not a preacher. I encourage and inspire based off my personal experiences. My hopes are to motivate and help others prevent them from any heart ache.


Be you so you can be free.


Love your self more than anyone else in this world. That is what I told my daughter on the way to school drop off. It sounds so simple but it’s the most essential and hardest thing for most to do.

Right now having teenagers in the home, my goal is to build their confidence and self esteem up constantly and consistently. They are facing mediums that at my age didn’t exist. But the thought of many adults not being able to love themselves now, needs this reminder as well.

Self Love Is the Best Love

Love yourself more than anyone else to give you an opportunity to have sanity. No matter what others may say or do, it just won’t stick. Be so full of yourself, in a humble way of course, that you won’t notice a void in your life. What you want to receive from others give to yourself. HAPPY SUNDAY…FOCUS ON YOURSELF

Loving on yourself means telling yourself good thoughts. Motivating yourself before anyone else does. Believing you can achieve and accomplish those goals and dreams you have. Looking in the mirror and telling that reflection how beautiful you are today. Compliment yourself often. Going out to work telling yourself you are going to be the best in the office. In the process, giving love, sharing love, and making others feel better about themselves. When we can love ourselves so much, we are confident enough to motivate and inspire others to feel the same gratification.

Even when things aren’t rolling smoothly, we still need to love ourselves through it. Everything isn’t going to be rainbows and unicorns, but you still got to say “ I got this.” As stumbling blocks are placed in our path way we should be able to encourage, motivate, and talk ourselves through it. When we love ourselves we attract the right energy and people. You’ve heard that saying, “you are what you attract.” That is in every relationship area of our lives. Remember negative energy feeds.

Now make it a point to spend some time on you and with you. You are number one and put yourself first. The way you love yourself is how others will show up and love on you.

“If you can’t love yourself how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Now can I get a Amen up in here!!!!!!!”-Rupaul

That is one of my favorite quotes, it can be said anymore simple. You are no good to anyone if you aren’t good to yourself.

Have a great day!!!!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


I saw this meme and thought it was the cutest and definitely best advice ever. Some Friday inspiration is just what we need before the weekend. Repeat this meme over and over again to give yourself a reminder on how to put your needs first.

What are your plans for the weekend? Is there anything you looking forward to, besides not working? No matter where you are it’s Friday and you deserve a break. Have some fun this weekend. Even if you do nothing, as long as it serves you best. Use this Friday inspiration to get you going.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


After many conversations with my mom, I noticed one thing, she was constantly trying to prove herself. I finally got the guts, to say”why are you wasting time proving yourself?”. I noticed on several occasions the common theme was her attempting to explain herself, show how much she knows, or stressing herself proving she can do something. Needless to say that hurt me to the core.

Be You No Matter What

Once I asked her, why she continues to waste her time proving herself, she reluctantly admitted that has been something she battled with since she was a teenager. My mom went on to explain how her being the youngest of four children, she always felt the need to show her siblings she’s just as capable if not more in some situations. They still view her as the baby and she doesn’t want to be viewed that way.

Once I let her release her feelings, there are some things I relayed to her that I’d like to relay to you all. If my mom, who I won’t reveal her age, has these feelings, I know there is someone out there who has them as well. At some point we all have experienced or felt the need to prove or show ourselves.

First, its a complete waste of time. Who ever you are trying to prove yourself to has their mind already made up. For whatever reasons, that’s non of your business.They have drawn conclusions without getting to know you personally. Because their minds are made up, nothing you say or do will suede them in the other direction.

On one hand, you think you are showing them what you know and how right you are, but all you are doing is hurting yourself. Because they aren’t changing their mind about you, you are constantly trying to figure out ways to prove them wrong. Eventually, you begin to question everything you say or do. It’s a never ending cycle that will kill your self esteem and confidence.

Before you know it, you are making decisions based off what others think of you. That is a recipe for an emotional tornado. All in all, the other person can know deep down the truth but because they have made their mind up, they will not budge on their point of view. If anyone, makes you feel less than, they aren’t worth sharing the same air you breath.

What someone thinks about you isn’t any of your business. They see something in you that has their insecurities show up. The best thing you can do, is be yourself and do what makes you happy. Also don’t put yourself in any position to receive negative energy or feedback. It is essential to create an atmosphere around yourself that protect your mental and emotional wellbeing.

When we have to please others or prove who we are, we are insecure in our capacity of being our authentic selves. You never know, you being your authentic self just may motivate them to see a different point of view. Why are you wasting time proving something to others, when that precious time can be spent on you?

Lastly, that is way too much power and control given away. The person or persons you’re trying to convince is controlling your thoughts, actions, and decisions. You are living for someone else. That is a NO NO!!!!! Stop wasting time trying to prove yourself. Just be you and let everyone and everything fall into place.


Be you so you can be free.


Why do you practice self care and what’s your motivation? That is a great question for all of us to answer. Of course, self care is for you. But what motivates you to get up and make yourself feel good, other than yourself?

My daughter who is going to be someone’s wife one day, someone’s mother one day, and a boss some day.

My sons who are going to be someone’s husband one day, a father one day, and role model to many.

My mother who didn’t have the ability to self care and live the life the she wanted.

My father who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

My grandmother who sacrificed for us all.

My Grandfather who is the head of the family.

My brothers, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, and coworkers who I share energy with.

Yes self care is for us. However, we must do what is necessary to we are whole. We need to be our best self to offer to family and friends.

However, there are many who benefit from our self care. We are setting an example to our children. While we’re having the courage to take a break and do something that makes us happy, we are inspiring and encouraging others to do the same.

Even, that one person who seems to have it all together is still watching. The one person who you think is judgmental and doesn’t like you is watching and learning from you.

We represent more than ourselves. When we step out we represent our parents, grandparents, spouses, and children.

When one of us is not good it effects the rest of us. If we all are making deposits there is an abundance. However, if everyone is withdrawing we all are depleted.

Who do you self care for? Who do you hope to inspire? What expample do you want to show?


Be you so you can be free.


C-Compassion allows us to connect with others and have meaningful relationships. The greatest act of courage is to show or have compassion for someone who have wronged you.

O-Offer your authentic self no matter who you’re around and where you are. The greatest gift we can give is our true authentic self. It takes courage to say “this is me”. Some people will love you and some won’t. That is perfectly ok.

U-Understand the source of the anger, hurt, or pain for yourself and others for that matter. Knowing the why will lead to the healing.

R-Rest. Take a break from time to time. Recharge and reset. We are human, we will get burned out at some point. It takes courage to say, “I need a break right now.”

A-Accept where you are and embrace it. We all want more, to reach higher places, and to grow. However, we have to be able to appreciate what we have now and where we are. Love that 2 bedroom apartment and appreciate it, so when you’re blessed with that 3 bedroom house, your gratitude will beam through the windows.

G-Goodness is in you. Share it with the world. You have a special gift and something to offer. Once again, it doesn’t have to be grand, the smallest gesture has the greatest good.

E-Energy is contagious. Be the energy you want to receive. When you smile at someone they smile back. Someone is having a bad day or moment, compliment them, encourage them, and make them smile.


Be you so you can be free.

What Self Care Is NOT

  1. Self Care isn’t selfish. Being the best you can be to your loved ones is a gift that benefits everyone.
  2. Self care isn’t a quick fix. It’s consistent daily practices to have a fulfilling life.
  3. Self care isn’t a one and done thing. It’s a lifestyle and some practices may change or have to adjust as you grow through life.
  4. Self care doesn’t erase your problems. It’s your foundation and what you fall back on to get you back on track.
  5. Self care doesn’t mean you aren’t going to get upset or have a bad day. It allows you to overcome, forgive, and move on faster than before.
  6. Self care doesn’t make you perfect. It says “I am human and have emotions that I need to deal with as they come.”
  7. Self care doesn’t mean you aren’t going to break from routine. It gives you experience on knowing how to regroup and get back to you.
  8. Self care doesn’t mean that you are depressed or angry. It’s the act of creating a good mental and emotional space.
  9. Self care isn’t the only thing that is going to make your life better. It’s a prong on your life wheel that you need on your journey.
  10. Self care doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s intentional, thoughtful, and catered to your personal needs.


Be you so you can be free.