This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

glad family having breakfast at table

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.


Be you so you can be free.

Why I’m not a fan of working a 9-5 job

The thought of doing the same thing over and over again for 40 years pains me to think about it. There are many reasons why I’m not fan of working a 9-5 job. I applaud those who sit at the same desk from the time they are 25 years old to 70 years old. On the other hand, I have a couple of questions, “Why and how did you do it.?”

The main reason why I”m not a fan of working a 9-5 job is because I need my brain stimulated. Doing the same thing over and over again everyday will make me bored very easy. I like to be challenged. The enjoyment I get out of problem solving and figuring things out, keeps me motivated. I guess that’s why accounting and numbers are my thing. Balancing books and figuring out that one number that’s off is my drug of choice.

Side Note: I know I promote and encourage a self care routine, but a routine that doesn’t allow me to expand or explore and wasn’t created by me isn’t a routine for me.

Another reason why I’m not a fan of working a 9-5 is there isn’t any flexibility. Because you go in at the same time everyday, sit at the same desk everyday, eat lunch at the same time, go home at the same time, and see the same coworkers, I begin to feel like the hamster on the wheel. My life as I know it is wasting away. After so long, I begin to feel like the value of what I have to offer is no longer a there. Therefore, the work become less exciting, the motivation to get it done isn’t as great, and eventually you begin to care less about production.

As a mom and wife, time for family life and handling business is little to none. The time you need to take care of certain business is during the time you’re at work everyday. Getting things done around the house is always a chore because of little time that’s available. Especially when you have kids that play sports. Your evenings are tied as well as your weekend. Not to mention, you only get one day on Saturday, because Sunday is spent getting ready for the week.

No matter how hard you work and your accomplishments, you are easily replaceable. You literally can die and they will begin looking to replace you immediately. They don’t care about you personally, even though you are spending more than 40 hours a week there. Let’s be honest, working a 9-5 your coworkers may know more about you than some family. They only care about what you can do for them.

Most of the time the company and their policies aren’t for the employees best interest. I’m not a fan of working a 9-5 and having myself or others feeling like a machine. It’s presented as such. However, the company number goal is to increase profit and maximize it with little expense. They cover themselves before you can even think of covering your behind. HR isn’t your friend. It’s the companies friend.

Final Thoughts

To give you some background, when I was in high school I thought I wanted to be a marketing consultant and a 9-5 was my destiny. However, as I got into college and began working and managing my class schedule, I knew a monotonous job and schedule wasn’t for me. I wanted to have the freedom to work and still live my life as I needed to. YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN DESTINY

Fast forward to after graduation and being a stay at home mom, I tried it, and I don’t like it. The office politics was just too much. The idea of being in the office for eight or nine hours was getting to me mentally. For starters, I knew I could be doing other things that needed to be done. Also doing something I actually loved and devoting my time to that. Finally I had too much down time, because once I was able to get into a routine and understand my duties I was able to complete them quickly.

Because of all the reasons above, the sheer motivation to get up every morning, get dressed, and have enthusiasm to get to the office just isn’t there. Why I’m not a fan of working a 9-5, I do believe you can achieve great success and results if you are efficient and proficient.

I am not a fan of working 9-5 and sitting around not doing much or being productive. Yes, I’ve heard people say “its easy money” but I don’t want easy money. I need and want to use my talents and gifts. I have a thing of needing to feel productive. Now if you’re a fan of a routine 9-5 system and it works for you that is amazing!!!!!!! I just need the flexibility to be creative, challenged, and motivated.


Be you so you can be free.