Something happens when you hit 40. I’ve always heard people talk about it and say how something shifts, it definitely does and it’s noticeable. I was grown before, but now I really think I’m grown. Some can be adults in age, but not so much in their priorities, responsibilities, and life.
For starters, I no longer care about having a closet full of clothes and shoes. Let alone caring about the name or labels on the tags. My care has shifted to making sure my home is as cozy as possible. I enjoy walking through Menards, Lowes, and the Garden section in Walmart. Creating a home with positive energy, peace, comfort, and happiness tickles my fanny.
While creating a safe space to be free, I’ve adopted the less is more option. That is with everything. Clothes, shoes, makeup, skincare, knickknacks, decor, kitchen gadgets, and just stuff. I find myself throwing away a lot of “stuff” as I clean and do laundry.
The next thing I noticed, and this is what made me figure out the shift in myself, is I pay attention to what others say on certain topics, or what they don’t say specifically. I pay attention to a person actions towards others, positive and negative. I specifically watch to see if they cut corners, always wanting something extra, looking for a leg up, wanting favors, and just how they move in general.
“The best judgment of character is to watch how a person engage with others.”
Another thing that I noticed is my daily lifestyle habits are very important. You know when you’re younger, eating right isn’t at the top of the list. Also when you’re young and dumb, you think you never going to gain weight or you can lose it easily. Yeah Right!!!!!! Making sure I have healthy eating habits, exercising throughout the week, and oh, this is a big one, gettting my behind in the bed at night is a priority at the top of my list.
The eating and drinking habits of others is something I’ve come to pay attention to. I love it when a coworker or friend tell me they want to lose weight or going on this fad diet, while eating a bucket of ice cream. I will support and motivate anyone, but if you’re wasting my time by not being serious or taking your health serious then, I have to move on.
I’ve become more mindful on what I watch, read, and listen to. Because of the world we live in, I find myself constantly seeking motivational and inspiring content to consume to ensure I’m operating from a place of positivity. YouTube has tons of motivational content on all subject matters to keep your gas tank full. I can find long videos while I clean up or a quick video on the ride to work to keep me going. Pinterest has millions of inspirational quotes to get you through any situation. Of course we know Instagram has content that motivates us.
Side Note: The key to social media is to only click on the content that you seek, or aspire to indulge. That way the algorithm will only pull the content in which you want to see.
My insatiable desire to let everyone know they are worthy is mounting. It really pains me to hear or see of a individual feeling down, in despair, hopeless, and unmotivated.
“You are bigger than the storm you going through. Remember storms are temporary.”
The ability to comfortable in feeling my feelings and not feeling bad about it has lifted weight off my shoulders . Feeling my feelings allows me to process it, talk it out, and move passed it. Which is great for my mental health. I encourage everyone to feel their feelings so you can learn and move forward. Ignoring or pretending like nothing bothers you, only hurts you and prevents you from being the best version of yourself.
I used to love going to the store to “just” look, now I only go when necessary and frankly I don’t even like doing that. It’s not so much about spending money or trying to save money, it’s not wanting be in the midst of the craziness that happens when you go shopping. Also, thats how I know I‘ve accomplished my goal of being at peace and content with what I have. There is nothing wrong with “wanting” more, but you have to start by being grateful for what you have now.
Which brings me to my next point, in being more financially aware or frugal. When I want something, I really think about it for some time. I go through a serious of questions: Do I really need it? Do I have a place for it? Can I afford it? Lastly on the financial tip, is I’d rather save and pay cash for it, instead of having debt and interest. When you’re younger you view money differently. I know I’m grown because life has called me to look at money and finances completely different.
My desire to give folks my time and argue just isn’t happening anymore. First of all, my blood pressure tells me girl you need to sit down, and you know what, they just aren’t worth it. I’m was grown before and life has called me to let certain things go. The energy that it exhaust out of me is too much and most of the time its not going to change the outcome, circumstances , or how a person feels.
It feels good to not care what people think or say. This one took me a while. It wasn’t so much of what my friends thought, but wanting the approval from my family that I was doing right or making the right decisions stressed me out. Another one that took me a while to grasp, is to not take things personally when people are rude or disrespectful. The anger that they display has nothing to do with me.
Welp, thats a few things I’ve noticed that has changed in me. It feels good, I feel good, and I want y’all to have the same liberating feeling. I was grown before, but now I’m really grown and growing. Remember it’s a journey, there isn’t a destination, and I’m still hopping along.
Be you so you can be free.