After many conversations with my mom, I noticed one thing, she was constantly trying to prove herself. I finally got the guts, to say”why are you wasting time proving yourself?”. I noticed on several occasions the common theme was her attempting to explain herself, show how much she knows, or stressing herself proving she can do something. Needless to say that hurt me to the core.
Once I asked her, why she continues to waste her time proving herself, she reluctantly admitted that has been something she battled with since she was a teenager. My mom went on to explain how her being the youngest of four children, she always felt the need to show her siblings she’s just as capable if not more in some situations. They still view her as the baby and she doesn’t want to be viewed that way.
Once I let her release her feelings, there are some things I relayed to her that I’d like to relay to you all. If my mom, who I won’t reveal her age, has these feelings, I know there is someone out there who has them as well. At some point we all have experienced or felt the need to prove or show ourselves.
First, its a complete waste of time. Who ever you are trying to prove yourself to has their mind already made up. For whatever reasons, that’s non of your business.They have drawn conclusions without getting to know you personally. Because their minds are made up, nothing you say or do will suede them in the other direction.
On one hand, you think you are showing them what you know and how right you are, but all you are doing is hurting yourself. Because they aren’t changing their mind about you, you are constantly trying to figure out ways to prove them wrong. Eventually, you begin to question everything you say or do. It’s a never ending cycle that will kill your self esteem and confidence.
Before you know it, you are making decisions based off what others think of you. That is a recipe for an emotional tornado. All in all, the other person can know deep down the truth but because they have made their mind up, they will not budge on their point of view. If anyone, makes you feel less than, they aren’t worth sharing the same air you breath.
What someone thinks about you isn’t any of your business. They see something in you that has their insecurities show up. The best thing you can do, is be yourself and do what makes you happy. Also don’t put yourself in any position to receive negative energy or feedback. It is essential to create an atmosphere around yourself that protect your mental and emotional wellbeing.
When we have to please others or prove who we are, we are insecure in our capacity of being our authentic selves. You never know, you being your authentic self just may motivate them to see a different point of view. Why are you wasting time proving something to others, when that precious time can be spent on you?
Lastly, that is way too much power and control given away. The person or persons you’re trying to convince is controlling your thoughts, actions, and decisions. You are living for someone else. That is a NO NO!!!!! Stop wasting time trying to prove yourself. Just be you and let everyone and everything fall into place.
Be you so you can be free.